Nervous and hopeful as my surgery day gets closer. 7/21. I have talked to many drs in different specialties about essure and not 1 has even remotely truly acknowledged that this essure has damaged me and made my life so extremely difficult since December of 09. My gyne, however did ‘agree’ that she will treat me as if this has been the problem and will report to the FDA IF the problems are resolved with this removal.
My case is very difficult since I have had fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since 1998 and have been down and disabled before the essure, so it makes my drs very skeptical. I also had history of migraines- but only maybe 2 a year, and depression, and was perimenapausal, and had chronic back pain due to arthritis among other crazy symptoms at times. I had been back to work for 5 years, after my last flair up when I was off for 2 years, and got married in April of 2009.
Needless to say, 2009 was blissful and stressful. My husband and I did not want to risk a late life pregnancy with my history of illness and the dr didn’t want to continue me on other forms of birth control due to my age and high blood pressure, so we chose essure. Essure was placed in 12/09 and by 2/2/2010 I wasn’t able to work! I am an RN and I was having extreme difficulty with my short term memory and extreme pain! I was taking care of others and could barely function myself because of the extreme pain I was in. I was forgetting how to write simple orders that I had written 1000s of times and couldn’t gather the supplies I needed to do even simple treatments! I had been a nurse for over 20 years and at my same job for 12 except for the two year period I was off in between years. I trained people to do these things for heavens sake!
The real kicker however and the last straw came when I could not remember who I had given medication to last! That night I decided I needed to get out before I hurt someone else! Here I was, a newly wed, and totally incapacitated. I had waited my entire life for a man like my husband after going through several abusive relationships in 30 years. My husband would work 10-14 hour days and come home to a dirty house, dirty wife, and then make me supper and I was not even working.
My emotional health quickly went on a downward spiral feeling like I had so wronged the love of my life! My faith and my husband were the only things that prevented me from truly becoming suicidal. I no longer had any sexual desire and when we would make love, it hurt. I rapidly started gaining weight and started looking pregnant. I kept rationalizing everything to… the FM and CFS attacked me again, I’m menopausal, I’m a newly wed and gaining the post-wedding weight, etc.
I was going from Dr to Dr spending outrageous amounts of money trying to find out what was really wrong with me because I knew deep inside that it was something more extreme than the FM flares I had experienced so far. Most Drs seemed to look at me like I was crazy, others would admit My dear friends, one even a nurse, would say things like, ‘you finally have everything you ever dreamed of and your just depressed. The depression is causing the pain. Get over it. Make yourself get up and exercise. Pray, praise and worship God.’ etc. I could barely make myself get out of bed and make it to the couch!!! Oh the long hours I started spending alone with the lord, screaming and crying out, confused why He would finally give me the life I dreamed for and then found myself unable to contribute or enjoy it at all!
I started withdrawing from everyone except for my husband who was confused as well, but so loving and gentle with me. I have had a see-saw of health problems over the last 5 years now, from one dr insisting I have Lupus, have been diagnosed with Diabetes, morbid Obesity, Chronic Migraines, ( one bout lasted for 6 weeks! Can you imagine a migraine every single day for six weeks time!!!) , Irritable bowel syndrome, hiatal hernia that has caused Barretts Esophagus- a precancerous condition, carpal tunnel, osteoarthritis, sleep apnea, painful intercourse, bladder issues, chronic abdominal pain, strictures forming in the urethra and esophagus, depression, etc!!!!
I had lost any hope of ever going back to work because of my erratic health state that after 23 years of carrying a RN license I actually made it inactive last year. Well, my dear e- sisters, I am now on a wait and see mission. Will I improve after this surgery? My stomach is 45 inches around!!!! Will it go away? Will I have energy to become productive on a day to day basis again? Will this extreme pain subside and actually become manageable.? Will I be able to enjoy a healthy sexual relationship with the love of my life? Will I feel sexy and attractive ever again? Will my memory improve? Pray with me my dear sisters, and I will pray for you.