I am a strong woman who has spent my life keeping it together. I have always had a job, paid my bills, and taken care of all my responsibilities. Everyone came to me for strength because there was nothing I could not handle. Even the events of 911 could not keep me down. That was until I had the essure procedure in March of 2006. I had no idea that a suggestion from my doctor would completely change the person that I was. After the essure procedure, I began to have panic attacks. Life became over whelming. Everything that I was holding together became unbearable.
I recall all too clearly spending a day at home with my two beautiful children when a dark veil washed over me. I started to panic about everything, I became angry. So angry, that my children were scared of me. I ran to my bedroom and closed the door. I called my husband in a frantic state and begged him to come home right away. I felt like a monster because my children were scared of me.
Fast forward to working in healthcare. I was an interventional radiology technologist. I worked in a cardiac cath lab. I had been involved in high risk procedures every day for three years. Then one night I was on call. I got to work as usual and began to set up. The procedure was intense from the start and then the worst happened. Our patient began to degrade. As the situation grew more intense I began to feel the veil of panic wash over me. The patient was purple and the blood on my hands was red. The colors were so intense. It was hard for me to hear what everyone was saying. Inside my head I was shouting at myself, do this, do that move, move, move. But I just couldn’t. I was frozen with panic. What seemed like hours inside my head was really only seconds. The patient was gone, and the doctor stated that there really was no hope from the beginning but we had to try. Everyone was asking me what happened to me? I apologized and said I don’t know why but I just panicked. I lost my job because of that panic attack. The team felt that I was unreliable, and that I couldn’t handle the pressure. But that wasn’t me. I was always reliable, strong and able to take on anything. This was a different me. In therapy they told me it was normal to have feelings blah, blah, blah. This was not me. Shake it off! Ok, so now most recently, I came upon a dream job. Something that could change my career and my family’s finances!!! I was in training for four weeks. The material was intense and required a lot of memorization. Every night after class I would stay in my room and study. But the information just wouldn’t stick. I would test myself over and over but was having such a hard time. I felt like my brain was wrapped in a fog. Then we had written tests. It was so very hard to focus and when I began to second guess myself I started to panic! So after all the hard work I put in, my final grade was an 82. Not bad I thought, but the company standard was 90% or better so they fired me!!! AAARRRGGGHH! I had lost everything I had worked for. I couldn’t provide for my family. What is wrong with me?
I can go on, because there is more. So much more that has changed who I am. I look in the mirror and have no idea who that woman is. Why can’t I get it together??
Since I had Essure implanted in 2006, I have had so many different issues. I never connected any of them together. As I looked over the list I was dumbfounded. I have had ALL of these symptoms!!!
Discharge (Odor/No Odor)
Excessive Bleeding During Period
Loss of Libido
Bleeding/Spotting After Sex
Painful Intercourse (Dyspareunia)
Sexual Dysfunction (Unable to Orgasm or Feel Pleasure)
Itching, Burning, Stinging, Stabbing of Vaginal Entrance (Vulvodynia)
Abdominal Spasms/ Twitching/ Fluttering
Back, joint, chest, leg, breast, neck, spine, hip
Severe bloating, Heartburn, Bowel issues
Headaches or migraines
Depression (Sadness/Suicidal Thoughts)
Ringing In Ears
Diminished brain function (brain fog, confusion, cloudiness, forgetfulness, short term memory loss)
Numbness/Tingling in Extremeties (Hands/Feet)
Swelling of legs or feet
Hair growth in new places
Weight Gain 60 lbs!
Swelling of Legs/Feet
Vision Problems (Floaters, Blurred Vision, Decreased Vision)
Excessive Sweating, Dry Skin/Hair/Eyes, Severe Bloating
Different symptoms ment different doctors appointments. Now after years of Dr’s, therapy, prescriptions and an emotional roller coaster, I hear that it could all stem from a small decision I made with my doctor? This device that was supposed to be simple, quick & easy could be the reason I have been through so much physical and mental pain….. How could that be? How could anyone put something on the market that could destroy my life from the inside???
Friday 9/25/15, The Pope came to NY. Usually in the morning my kids watch their shows while getting ready for school, Friday I had on the coverage of the Pope because I wanted to see him. Then the news cut in and mentioned the hearing about Essure and all the complaints and problems women were having. My husband looked at me and when our eyes met we both realized, Oh my God could that be why?
Now, I’m making more Dr’s appointments and being told that I need to have a hysterectomy to get these things out of me. I’ve seen an allergist and have a confirmed nickel allergy. She believes that the flushed face is not Rosacea, like two different dermatologists have said, but a histamine reaction to the nickel that has been poisoning me. So that’s why none of the medication I’ve taken would clear it up. The vertigo, the pain, the exhaustion the fatigue…. All these things that have chipped away at my core and all these symptoms that have made me feel like a hypochondriac while I retell my story to yet another doctor.
The last 9 years have been hell for me and my family. Now, I have some answers and a new focus. I will get these things out of me and get off all this medication that I’ve been taking for 9 years! I will get my life back and I will fight to make sure that those that profited from my pain, and the pain of all my E-sisters pay.